Take a Knee.

As a white man it is irrelevant whether or not I've personally oppressed anyone because I have to accept the fact that, on some level, throughout my life I have benefited from a system in which white men have oppressed other groups.

Accepting this fact creates for me a moral dilemma. The injustice of this system turns my stomach yet I cannot say that I completely hate it. Honestly, who doesn't want to be privileged? However I choose to reconcile that, I think one day I'll have to give God an explanation for my choice.

Having a good education, housing, healthcare, credit, free speech...everything that I consider basic in life, someone else has had to struggle to get those things, while some others are still dreaming of having them. If I get pulled over while driving, the worst thing that's going to happen to me is that I'll have to pay a fine. And while for me that may be really hard, it pales in comparison to so many other experiences. I have never once worried that a cop might shoot me.

As a white man, it's not my place to tell someone they are protesting the wrong way. Instead, as a white man, it is my job to shut up & listen to what they're saying. And if it is at all possible, use my privilege to try & make things better for them.

Selah.

Earth Day.

~ Originally Published April 23, 2017.

Richard Nixon, whom I think we can all agree was a bad President & probably a bad person, started the Environmental Protection Agency.

There was no political advantage to starting the EPA, it was just the right thing to do. It benefits everyone.

Donald Trump has chosen William Happer as a top science advisor. Happer just went on TV & said that the Paris Climate Agreement is like the 1938 Munich Agreement.

The Munich Agreement, of course, is infamously remembered for Neville Chamberlain appeasing Hitler.

I think we can now officially say: Richard M. Nixon was a better President & a better person than Donald J. Trump.

The Resistance.

~ Originally Published March 20, 2017

They will tell you to sit down & shut up.

Don’t do it.

We are Americans. We protest whatever we want, whenever we want, for as long as we want.

They will tell us, “Just give it a chance.”

They will tell us, "He needs our support."

These are dangerous statements because, on the surface, they sound reasonable.

Do not forget the things he has already done, truly horrible things, to get to where he is now.

We will not ignore the lies that have already been told. We will not ignore the racism, the ridicule, the misogyny, the lawsuits, the conflicts of interest, the sexual assault, the threats, the gas-lighting, the false-flattery, the hypocrisy, the glorification of war & violence, the disdain for our children, our teachers, our military & our free press,  or that he called for the prosecution, incarceration & assassination of his political opponents.

No. We will remember all of this.  And we will continue to hold him accountable for it.

They will say, “Wait & See. He might surprise you.”

We will watch & respond accordingly.

They will say, “He’s not a dictator, he will surround himself by smart people. By good people. By Godly people. They will guide him.”

We see who he is surrounded by. We see a bully & his goons. We see his unethical children. We see Nazis. We see sycophants. We see those who would harm our environment & our schools & we see that they are a threat to our children. We see Pharisees & hypocrites.

They keep saying, “Give him a chance.”

He had a chance, it was called the primary. He had a second chance, it was called the campaign. He had a third chance, it was called the election. He had a fourth chance, it was called the inauguration.

We see his words, actions & policies. We know who he is. We know what he is. We know what he wants. We know what he’s capable of. He has shown this to us repeatedly. We are not fooled.

We will march. We will write. We will post. We will call. We will show up. We will vote.

We will believe in truth. We will believe in facts.

We will expect… we will demand honesty.

We will eventually win.

Adventures in Hypocrisy... (or, Real Things People Actually Said).

 ~ Originally Published January 15, 2017


Liberal: Oh my God, little kids are being shot.
Conservative: You can’t take my guns away!

Liberal: Oh my God, people in Aleppo are being slaughtered.
Conservative: They can’t come here!

Liberal: That black guy wasn’t resisting arrest & didn’t have a gun.
Conservative: Blue Lives Matter!

Liberal: Candidates shouldn’t encourage physical violence against protestors.
Conservative: They’re troublemakers, they deserve whatever they get!

Liberal: No one should ever make fun of a person for having a disability.
Conservative: We’re sick of being politically correct!

Liberal: Everyone deserves free healthcare.
Conservative: Anyone who goes to Planned Parenthood is a baby-killing whore!

Liberal: Poor people deserve to earn a living wage.
Conservative: Fast Food is only an entry level job, they’re just lazy & greedy.

Liberal: Hillary has pneumonia. She works so hard. I hope she feels better soon.
Conservative: Killary is a demon from Hell! I hope she dies! I’ll laugh my ass off!

Liberal: No one should ever be sexually assaulted.
Conservative: Boys will be boys!

Liberal: If a foreign power interfered with an American election, that’s a serious problem.
Conservative: Lib-tard! Cry-baby! Snowflake! Suck it up buttercup! You lost!

Liberal: I really don’t like Trump or any of his policies.
Conservative: WHY CAN’T YOU CHOOSE LOVE OVER HATE!? YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG WITH AMERICA!!!

 

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.

~ Originally Published January 12, 2017.

I don’t know who made it but I found that picture on Facebook awhile back & just held onto it until now because it hit so close to home. David Bowie died on January 10, 2016 but for the past year, I have mistakenly believed he died on January 12, 2016. That’s because January 10 was a Saturday & I had mostly spent my weekend unplugged. On Monday, as I was driving to work, the local independent public radio station was playing an all-day tribute to Bowie, so that’s how I learned about it…like it just happened that day. And I was stunned. I spent the next few hours in a daze (although there were also other personal things that contributed to my state of mind). That same day, I was sent home from work… a job I had held for fourteen years. Three weeks later I was, for the first time ever, fired.

After that, things just went from bad to worse. So in retrospect it began to seem like the moment I heard David Bowie was dead is the moment my universe began to fall apart.

Fortunately, I was hired by two different agencies within days & had job offers from a couple more. And I didn’t misrepresent myself, they knew the circumstances & still saw me as a highly-skilled professional with years of experience, education & training. I came to understand that, while I had in fact done something wrong, the majority of my peers understood that it was a mistake and a common one at that. No denying that I was wrong but on the other hand, no one was hurt either. The agency had the option to re-train me, or bring me back on a probationary period but they chose to fire me. So, having job offers rolling in was a good thing but the termination still stung. Like a fool I took the advice of my Union Representatives to file for unemployment & then fight for it on appeal. Even though I had started the new jobs & didn’t need the money. My pride & wounded sense of justice convinced me to do it & if I didn’t win, I’d at least have fun sticking it to The Man. What did that get me? It was an open invitation to slander. During the appeals hearing my former employers went on record, with their character assassination. The details of the termination inexplicably changed. To protect myself from legal problems, I had to sit silent because the unprofessional, unethical, illegal & immoral things that I knew management & co-workers were guilty of, were also things I was unable to prove.

A brother in Christ who took it upon himself to minister to me was quick to assess the damage. He said (about my job, not Bowie) it was just like a close relative had suddenly died & I had no chance to say goodbye. And that is exactly what it was like because I spent the next several months in mourning, working through the grieving process. Then, the part time weekend job made it impossible to attend church. And that agency had problems of its own, it started out so promising too but soon made my former hostile work environment seem like a golden age. Then the depression, the anxiety, etc.. Then divorce. Then… well, there was a lot of bad stuff. There was a lot of good stuff too: a great full-time job, a great new place to live, opportunities to play & write music again… but for every victory gained, a new inseparable, correlating defeat came along with it. Every time I started to rise up, I was beaten back down.

And the worst beat-down ever was still yet to come.

I tend to be a private person & an extremely loyal friend. I’ve learned that bottling up emotions & living a life of quiet desperation is ultimately self-defeating. I’ve learned how to burn bridges at a moments notice. I’ve learned how to walk away from people I still love. And I’ve learned that I deserve to be happy. I’ve learned that I’m not obligated to keep negative people in my life. Justice is not dead, she is just slow. Justice is always too slow for those who truly need her & too quick for those who don’t understand her.

There are some things I’m brutally honest about, some things I know others will never understand & some things I’ll never tell another soul. One day, without warning to either one of us, I texted a random thought (or epiphany) to my best friend. It said, “I didn’t know it was possible for one person to carry so much pain in their heart.”

Without a doubt, 2016 was the worst year of my entire life.

And I trace it all back to David Bowie dying. And I’m not overly-attached to celebrities. I don’t think their deaths are any more or less significant than any other persons. It’s just that, every time the news broke about another celebrity dying, it was like a mile-marker of awfulness. In almost all of these cases, I could make a mental connection to something bad happening currently happening in my personal life, so that the sum total of all celebrity deaths became symbolic of how hard the year was. Gary Shandling, Alan Rickman & Gene Wilder die & the world is a little less funny. Prince dies & the world is a little less fun. Then reports come out that he (who had a reputation for clean living) died of an overdose… and not even an illicit overdose but just an attempt to put an end to pain. Anton Yelchin dies in his driveway, run over by his own malfunctioning car & the car company basically blames the victim. So, now the world is a little less fair. Mohammed Ali & Senator John Glenn die. Now the world is a little less inspirational. Leonard Cohen dies & the world is a little less poetic. Ron Glass dies & the world is a little less gentle. Carrie Fisher dies… just in case you forgot that the world is now a little less funny, fair, inspirational & sexy. Then on the very last day of the year, the Padre himself, William Christopher dies & I’m too exhausted to react.

And I know that I am not alone in these thoughts. Throughout Advent, conversation after conversation revealed an overwhelming sense of dread just hanging in the air.

All this & I still haven’t even thought about Trump. And one of my favorite (if lesser known) Bowie lyrics comes to mind as being so apt, “I’m afraid of Americans.”, because it’s no longer about who won or who lost, it’s about who we are as a society & what kind of people we choose to be. While I still love them, there are many people who have lost my respect & trust because they knew full well what Trump represents & voted for him anyway.  In a Republic, we get the leaders we deserve, whether they are good or bad. By that measure, we have all lost & that needs to be fixed.  It’s not that I’m without hope but I have very little reason to believe that this year will be much better than last. If we manage to survive the next four years, I will not be surprised if it’s an uphill battle all the way.

Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. – Isaiah 1:17

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.  – Micah 6:8

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.  – Matthew 7:12

Love does no wrong to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the Law. – Romans 13:10

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. – James 4:27

Expecting justice, loving mercy & choosing to be humble doesn’t make you a snowflake, it makes you a fucking badass. It means that you are in the world but not of the world. That is Punk Rock. Your broken heart is not a liability, it is your motivation. It’s easy to give into tribalism. It’s easy to blame other people for your fear. It’s easy to cling to your myopic world view when all the evidence indicates you’re wrong. It’s easy to buy the lie of Nationalism. You know what Nationalism is? That idea that a piece of dirt is more important than all other pieces of dirt for no other reason than you just happened to be born on it. It’s easy to think that America belongs to you & others like you. It’s easy to believe that America must come first. That stuff is easy as pie.

What’s hard is accepting that you’re not the center of the universe so maybe you need to treat other people the way they ask to be treated, whether it’s convenient or not. What’s hard is getting knocked down every single day & still not giving in to your worst instincts. What’s hard is being full of hope when the world gives you everything but hope. What’s hard is seeing a world that’s full of mean, cold-hearted people who appear to be more successful than you…and choosing to believe that there is a God who wants you to act differently than them.

So that’s it. That’s my year-in-review. I hope yours was better.

I hope we make the next one better.

Carry on.

Doubting Thomas.

~ Originally Published December 21, 2016.

On December 21st, the Episcopal Church remembers Saint Thomas.

Thomas gets a bad rap but when it comes to the original Twelve Apostles, I think that he is probably my favorite.

Thomas wasn’t with Mary Magdalene in the garden, he wasn’t in the upper room with the other Apostles & he wasn’t on the road to Emmaus. So, when he started hearing these bizarre stories that Christ had somehow risen from the dead, he was skeptical, as any sane person should be.

Yet, he never said, “I don’t believe it.” or “I refuse to believe.”

Thomas said, “I will not believe, unless I can see where the nails pierced his hands, and touch the place where the nails had been, and put my hand where the soldier’s spear stabbed him.”

“I will not believe…unless…”.That is a stipulation that says, “There’s still a chance”.

So, Thomas was actually keeping an open mind while also setting a standard for proof. Look at the other accounts of the resurrection & notice that none of the witnesses immediately recognized the risen Christ. This is because, for some unexplained reason, and in some unspecified way, his appearance has changed. Considering this, it seems like Thomas is only being sensible.

“Ok, so you saw Jesus but you thought he was a gardener? And you didn’t touch him?”

“Ok, so you talked to Jesus for a couple hours but didn’t recognize him? And once you did recognize him, he just vanished into thin air?”

After the crucifixion, all the disciples must have felt a crushing, overwhelming depression. They had spent the last three years devoted to following Christ only to see it all come to a bloody, brutal end. Their hopes & dreams ended up being an epic, heart-breaking failure. But they were devoted. They had given up their homes, families & money to be part of Christ’s ministry. He obviously offered them something special to make this seem like a worthwhile trade. So, I’m sure that deep down Thomas wanted nothing more than for Christ to be alive but how could that possibly be true?

In the 1st century, the idea that a person could be physically resurrected was a relatively new belief within Judaism & was quite controversial.  However, Thomas knew that Elijah had brought a boy back from the dead & that Christ had brought Lazarus out of the grave. So, on some level, he had to believe it was at least possible.

In the 21st Century, when Christianity is too often watered down to sentimental drivel, what better example can we ask for than a saint who not only lives with hope but also demands empirical evidence & practices critical thinking?

If you can prove something is true with facts, then you don’t have faith, you have knowledge.

Conversely, blind faith isn’t really faith at all. There should be some solid reason to support your belief in the first place. Years later, Saint Paul would write, “work out your salvation with fear & trembling”… which means, this is so important that you must give it all your time, thought & energy. I think Thomas recognized this, that to be committed to Christ requires everything. And not only would it require everything from him but as an evangelist, he would need to explain to unbelievers why they might want to believe.

Thomas saw that this was too important to preach without backing it up with some evidence.

Faithfulness is not just some warm & fuzzy feeling that everything’s ok. That’s worldly happiness. That comes & goes. It’s nice but it’s temporary. Faithfulness is a deeper way of understanding the world.

Earlier in John’s Gospel, the disciples try to stop Jesus from going to Judea, where people want to stone him. Christ makes it clear that there is work to be done & no matter what his disciples say, no matter what the consequences turn out to be, Christ is going to Judea. Thomas is the first to step up & say, “Then let us go also, so that we may die with him.” This may seem fatalistic but I tend to take it as a sign of devotion. What he’s really saying is, if Jesus does die, at least he won’t die alone. Or maybe he was even gearing up for a fight by thinking, if they try to kill our friend, they’ll have to go through us to do it.

The phrase “Doubting Thomas” (much like “Patience of Job”) has wormed its way into our vocabulary & in doing so has lost its original context. In my opinion, doubt is not a sin. Doubt is not the same as disbelief. I think the same God who created the universe & the human mind gave us the gifts of curiosity & rational thought. Surely he is big enough to handle all our questions & doubts. I like to think that he even welcomes them.

When Christ shows up what does he do but offer himself to Thomas for examination?

“My Lord & My God!” What an amazing declaration of faith. Those are five little words but they contain volumes. I imagine that Thomas is so relieved, so happy, so overwhelmed, that Christ is really alive, that Christ is really Christ (!), that he must have the biggest lump in his throat & those five little words are all he can manage to choke out.

Christ never says Thomas was sinning but calls him blessed. Thomas is blessed because he has “seen & believed”… but that’s not all. Christ adds to that, “Even more blessed will be those who have not seen yet still believe.” He is talking about the rest of the world. He is talking about future generations, including ours. The holy catholic & apostolic church, against all odds, has continued to grow & thrive for thousands of years because of people like Saint Thomas, who devoted their entire lives to continuing the work of Christ.

Pulse.

The Lord is close to the broken-hearted & saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

Now the dwelling of God is with men & he will live with them. They will be his people and He will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

- The Revelation of Jesus to Saint John 21:3-5

Over 100 victims in Orlando this weekend…

Prayers for the departed, that God embraces them in mercy and brings them into eternal rest, the peace that passes all understanding & that the light perpetual shines upon them.

For the wounded, that their bodies, minds & hearts will soon be healed.

For the families & friends of all victims, that God will meet them in their grief.


For the perpetrator who is also a victim & who Christ has commanded us to pray for.

For our communities to reject philosophies of bigotry, ignorance & shallowness.

For the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, to move within all of our hearts and minds.


That our nation will finally, finally, finally stop this sick obsession with guns and our apathy towards violence, both of which are in direct opposition to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That our leaders will finally have the decency and courage to stand up to the powerful gun lobby & pass common sense gun laws to help prevent violent crimes. No one needs an assault rifle and anyone who wants one is clearly a threat to others. People need to stop misusing the second amendment to rationalize this nonsense.

That our nation will finally have understanding and compassion for those who struggle with mental illness. They deserve & require free access to health care and well-funded professional support systems. That left un-cared for, these people are more likely to turn to crime and are much more susceptible to terrorist organizations that prey on such people.

That people of good conscience have discernment & bravery. Free speech is not a license to incite violence or repression. That when people like Donald Trump spew their hate-filled, prejudiced & toxic rhetoric, the rest of us need to make it clear that they do not speak for us & tell them to just shut the fuck up.

…and all the whiny-ass rednecks can stop bitching about how “Obama just wants to take our guns away” which is not even remotely close to being the truth.

That our country will never again relegate people to second-class citizens. That regardless of gender, ancestry, faith & sexual preference, all people will be treated equally under the law & given dignity & respect by their peers.

That our nation never again turns cowardly in the face of intimidation. Understanding that knee-jerk reactions like preemptive war & The Patriot Act do NOT make us safer.


That we will continue in the belief that diversity is our strength. That we accept there is more than one valid point of view & our personal views are sometimes wrong. That we defend the rights of our brothers & sisters, even when we disagree with them. That we will always cherish & defend the freedom of personal choice when it comes to speech, religion, the press, peaceful assembly, relationships, sexuality, beliefs, politics, art, music, literature & creativity.  That we insist boys & girls alike deserve free education & career opportunities.


That we will keep all children safe so they can pursue their dreams.


Despite theological/ cultural differences, Judaism, Christianity & Islam ALL WORSHIP THE SAME GOD. The true God is not a god of fear & hate but a God of love & peace. We must celebrate that there is more that unites us than divides us & come together as an ecumenical community & work towards the common goal of healing our world.

No one is born a bigot or a murderer. This is learned behavior and it can be replaced with something positive but people have to step up. These tragedies are preventable. This is not worthy of who we are. We are better than this and we need to start acting like it.

“Kingdom Come” is not some far-off, vague ideal but a tangible reality that is happening right now. “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” isn’t up to God, he already wants his will to be done, it is up to each one of us to follow through and make it happen. Every single time we choose to speak or act in accordance with God’s will, we bring his heavenly kingdom into this world, thus replacing sorrow & despair with joy & hope.


Selah.



~ Originally Published June 13, 2016

Life Lessons of an R.E.M. Fan.

Life Lessons of an R.E.M. Fan:

It’s ok to be weird.

There are worse things than being a loser. It is better to have a gentle spirit and spend a lifetime having your heart broken, than it is to spend even one day as a Machiavellian, valuing nothing but your own ego. One is dark and greedy for the illusion of power, adding nothing but misery. One reflects light and at least attempts healing, making the universe slightly more bearable for other people.

If something seems perfect, then you should know it will never last.

No matter how truly hurt and alone you are, you are not the only one who feels that way.

Please stay alive. Things get better. But if they don’t get better, please just stay alive. Please.

It’s true that things are bad and hard but never is everything completely bad, all the time, forever.

Sometimes you have to spend 400 years in slavery then another 40 years lost in the desert.
Sometimes you have to get gunned down on the balcony of your hotel room.

If you believe in unconditional love, you will eventually be in a toxic relationship
(and/or stabbed in the back… and/or thrown under the bus…).

The appropriate reaction to heartache is (almost always) quiet melancholy.

The appropriate reaction to social injustice is (almost always) noisy anger.

You’re gonna be around for years – don’t let 15 minutes of false flattery define who you are.

You’re gonna be around for years – don’t let one mistake define who you really are (that’s why they’re called mistakes).

Nothing is ever going to be as good as you have managed to convince yourself it once was.

The past might have been great but now it’s over and you’re never going to get it back.

So, kiss it goodbye and go find something else to live for.

[Inner monologue: Ok, pal. So why not just take your own advice?]

If you’re going to break up, don’t argue, just call it a retirement and go your separate ways.

Make one last masterpiece that proves you went out at the top of your game.

Also, it allows the people who really love you to have one more good memory.

If you break up, stay broken up. Never ever try to get back together.

Selah.